I have a friend who is just 21. And 2 months ago, he met this pretty girl on Instagram, I swear she is really pretty. It was not up to two weeks, and they already started discussing dating.
Now, only less than two months ago since they started dating, and I’m already getting the “I used to love her so much line.” – They broke up!! These two were just… they were just….urghhh… whatever, I am just furious right now!
Now they can’t even talk like friends, and I can’t even be friends with her (I mean it’ll be weird), and none of our circle of friends can date her because of a ‘bro code’ we generation of mofos believe is right to obey… Urgghhh.
Anyways, I will just breathe and say what I want to say. (pours in cold water from a reusable bottle into a yellow mug)
Ok first of all,
Values are Depreciating.
Values and priorities are no longer what they used to be, and the results, wasted years, a deplorable future, and a bunch of depressed millennials in the next 10 years
– what about you, what do you think your future will look like? Filled with friends who have smashed their goals? Or filled with sore losers who sing the “I wish I had known song.”
Either way, the depreciating values have crept into our ability to build relationships with REAL bonds.
Now to the second thing I want to let off my chest.
There are so many Horny self-harming Fucktards (gulps)
This millennial generation (our generation) is
filled with horny
bastards who have no control over their dopamine
hormones – yes, suck it in! – (gulps again) thank goodness for the internet,
you can’t do anything to me (feels relaxing actually).
It is in this generation that we have the highest number of young drug addicts, people with erectile dysfunction, and people in their early 20’s who are already used to orgasms, now looking for other extreme sources of it. You know, bigger dildos and weird sexual positions… psst
Before now, drug addiction used to be the thing of mature older adults who have dealt with the storms of life and have landed on the wrong foot.
But now, the younger generation, our generation who have almost no challenge to deal with, take drugs for almost everything.
We are addicted to viagras for sexual enhancement, addicted to smoking because it makes you look cool, addicted to porn just to wank off and feel good, and addicted to our mobile phones looking for the next clout to chase. The addiction which is relatively new is that of dildos, increasing rectal failure and depreciating intimacy. One more time …. Urrgghhhh.
Stay with me. I was not about to hold a lecture on addiction.
I am just saying that our inabilities to form REAL true to god relationships can lead to them.
What if you made the most out of life?
Most of us have lost orientation and have forgotten that we still have a long way to go into the future. But we tend to forget; our 20’s are the best parts of our lives.
Your life in your 20’s is what will determine if you will live in your dream home or forever work a 9 – 5 job that can put food only on your table.
It is the life you live now that will determine if you can handle more significant responsibilities in the future. And you know, the bigger the responsibility, the more satisfying in terms of happiness and finance. But it is too bad that most people do not prepare themselves for more responsibilities in the future – living a life of low expectations.
The point I am trying to make is that “I love you” is not enough to determine healthy relationships, especially as a youngster in his/her 20’s.
1. “Your 20’s is the right time to be free.”
Yes, Yes, Yes, that is the statement that has caused us to go astray. But it is true. In your 20’s the only responsibility you have is just you (sending out love and light to those who have more responsibilities than themselves). And as such, your 20’s is the time you have to make mistakes that will save you hell and heck in the future.
Since you have nothing to lose and everything to lose in your 20’s, we will rephrase thus.
Your 20’s is the time to make the RIGHT mistakes and learn.by whoever, whatever, just get the point.
Sometimes, you don’t even have to make any mistakes, I mean, we are living after billions of generations who have learned lessons that we can learn from without having to thread the same path.
This will lead me to the kind of relationships we should have in our 20’s.
2. Mentorship and Growth Oriented relationships.
From my personal experience, mentors only take you in if you have something to bring to the table or have achieved something meaningful (unless you are paying for the mentorship program which sometimes too needs basic requirements of personal success.)
You need someone who can help you make the most out of your life, especially if their life is perfect and admired by many. This kind of relationship doesn’t even need to be with an older person or carry the label “mentor”.
It can be as simple as being friends with someone who is continually topping the class with A’s. As long as it gives you both the avenue to learn and grow, just go for it.
3. Relationships that lets you practice hobbies and make friends.
Especially if you have a partner, it is best to have hobbies outside your relationships.
Your hobbies if done well, can land you in a good position a few years from now.
Having hobbies also let life chose partners and friends for you. It also helps your relationship with someone flourish because there is something else to talk about, a task for both of you to solve, and a responsibility to take care of apart from the race for orgasms.
Not having any hobbies and friends outside a relationship may ruin you if things don’t turn out well.
You need to make sure that you have something to turn to when your partner begins to behave like a stubborn goat because trust me, we all do at one point or the other.
If you have relationships without entitlements and healthy friendships as well as good hobbies, then it becomes easier to heal from any kind of relationship mishap.
It becomes easier to say … you know what? f**k it … to toxic relationships.
It becomes easier to carry your mat to another spot in life where you can enjoy all the goodies life has to offer you.
4. A Relationship in your 20’s should have Honest Expectations.
The expectation in ‘relationships’ of nowadays kind of entitles females to give of their bodies while the males (most of who are jobless) are entitled to pay all the bills, and buy expensive gifts.
You see, one of the easiest ways to change anyone is to introduce a sense of obligation with someone they admire.
It is no brainer; they adopt the other person’s habits or disturb their peace of mind because they want to accommodate such a person.
If you are with someone or going to be with someone, your expectations should be realistic.
You don’t have to say it to them. You can just write it down “I want to be with this person because I want to pass my exams… Because I want to get better in this skill… because they motivate me to be better … because they help me find myself … because I feel more natural around them.
It goes the other way too, decide how you want to impact their lives.
And make it a thing, to always leave people BETTER than you found them.
Having relationships in your 20’s can be quite a burden because at this point of your life, you constantly doubt yourself, you are constantly struggling with insecurities, and it is much more difficult if you have to live up to the expectations of another.
5. Every Relationship should be free of ENTITLEMENTS.
Even the best marriages are entitlement free. The real thing about love is that you make sacrifices and accommodate someone else WILLINGLY, without any entitlement to do so. In fact, if it is really about love, making your significant other happy will be just as easy as breathing.
But look at you, what can you do, you don’t even have a job, you barely even treat yourself right, or have a world you call your own, and you are supposed to make another feel like they are your world.
No wonder we overcompensate with our bodies and make illogical sacrifices.
Entitlement is a controversial topic which is why our world is in such a mess in the first place.
But you need to know one thing, WE ARE LEAVING THIS WORLD ALONE, ONE LIFE, ONE COFFIN, ONE FUNERAL (if you get any).
The only time people are responsible for us is during reproduction, and in helping us dig our grave.
And if you think someone owes you any form of happiness apart from those, then listen to what I have to say (gulps cold water)… You are a selfish goat, should I say I am sorry? Nah, I’ll be unapologetic just this once.
Because if not, you will never know this truth. The truth that taking responsibility for your life is the HIGHEST FORM OF HAPPINESS and the only KEY to finding PURPOSE – try it.
6. A Relationship in your 20’s should let you be Adventurous.
One of my favourite quotes is “Life is like a book.” Staying in one place means reading only a page. (I may have come up with this dumb quote, but there should be someone dumber enough to take credit)
In a book, there are so many pages. Some will make you happy, some will make you cry, some will fill you with satisfaction, but you never can tell the story if you do not visit its pages.
Being young and in your 20’s allows you this freedom. Try to learn hobbies, how to swim, how to go on dates, tweak and improve your fashion sense, go on deep ocean dives, roller coaster drives, see movies with friends.
You need the kind of relationships that will let you LIVE.
PS: you don’t have to be an alcoholic, and you don’t have to do drugs. Remember, positive energy, positive adventure, and a regret-free future.
7. Relationships in your 20’s should be purposeful.
In our 20’s, we have this behaviour, a ‘selfish’ one. All we want right away is for ourselves and the numero uno of misplaced priorities is being in a relationship without purpose.
We are at the most unstable stage of our lives when all the hormones are raging, and we are full of life.
Already, the challenges of life is going to quench that energy, that inquisitive nature, but not until we make the most out of them in our late 20’s and even late 30’s.
When you do not set a purpose for your relationships, you will go along with whatever suggestions come your way.
And the suggestions are not always the right ones, usually, it is driven by horny emotions, and when you bind with someone in the ‘horny people oath’, you kill this energy (especially for boys) all you can think about is how well to eat an a**, and how well to treat her right.
What do you think it means? Misplaced priorities, right? Right.
You channel your inquisition of how to be a better man or woman to how to satisfy your partner instead of yourself (which is the most important anyway)
And meeehhnnnn, we have a lot of people who are looking up to us already; our parents, our teachers, our friends and family, and our future colleagues and unborn children.
However, there is a twist here. You really should not be rigid about the purpose of relationships, it should be natural.
8. The relationship in your 20’s should let you make money.
For the boys in the house, man, you are not a withdrawal slip, neither are you a father.
For the ladies in the house, making your money is the ticket to living a ‘baby girl’ life without waiting for a man to sweep you off your feet first. In fact, it is the surest ticket to getting any man of your dreams.
I really don’t mean the misinterpreted “independent woman” theme you all carry on your head. Because if we all were really “independent” we might as well live without any partner which is ok too.
But I am relating with people that want to live ‘normal’ lives and feel the joy of being able to build a healthy relationship with a partner in the future.
You know, the only perks of being ‘independent’ is a sole partnership with every sex toy and dildos that emerge in the market.
The relationships in your 20’s should help you build money foundations. Schools don’t even teach us how to make and manage money, so it is a deficient you want to make up for.
If you already have a partner, ask them questions to know if you all are on the same page because you need to follow the money if you want a suffer-free future.
9. Relationships that allow you Network.
One of the things I have noticed with relationships at your 20’s is that once you are in, especially if you are with an insecure mofo, it becomes harder to network with other people. And these are people who may help you in life. It becomes difficult to have deep conversations about the future with someone else.
But I am sure you have heard the popular saying “your network is your net worth.”
Form solid relationships with ambitious people, with people heading your direction, with achievers, so that one time in the future, you will hop in from a Yacht in the Bahamas to an all-expense paid flight in Prague and onward, to a cruise ship on the Pacific. All because you were a useful human in your 20’s. Be useful – that is the secret code to faster and quality networking.
10. So, what about Romantic relationships you celibate pervert?!!
For what it is worth, I never said you should not have a romantic relationship in your 20’s. But I am saaayyyiiiing thaaattt, if it is worth the risk of not being able to form real bonds in another relationship, then take it.
Awwwn, look at those two. My heart melted. Please let someone love you, so you won’t rust, but with purpose.
Let’s not lose focus.
One thing about romantic relationships is the expectations when you begin to explore your bodies.
Even when you meet someone else, the purpose is likely to end up in another body-exploration-regimen.
And the weaker the relationships you have, the more it becomes harder to build trust with someone else. And then the deeper romantic relationships you have, the more difficult it becomes to start afresh with another.
You begin to doubt if love ever existed in the first place – yes, it does exist, but you may have exchanged yours for orgasms.
The best way to have relationships in your 20’s is to build yourself to a standard (standards are endless) financially, physically, and mentally. Offer value instead of body fluids or better still, if possible, both, jeez!!! Chrissss, can you just, just take a stand!!
Ok, Ok, Ok, the best ways to have relationships in your 20’s is here in this post.
I love you remember
Your 20’s should not be hard
Before you share this post to your friend, please advise other readers in the comment below – the relationship mistakes you feel people in their 20’s should avoid.